Messages for two fellow passengers on the El
Woman wearing too much makeup: your coat, which was not leather, looked very silly with its leather-looking belt and leather-looking wrist adornment things. Also, you shoes (silver-colored sneakers) looked very silly with the rest of your outfit. I am forced to conclude that you were wearing a silver bodysuit underneath your pants, coat, blouse &c, because you are in fact a Super Hero. This would also explain your excess of makeup—secret identities and all that.
Dude who got on the car even though it was clearly packed and could barely accomodate him, and who was wearing an obnoxious jacket: for the duration of the trip between the Grand and Clark & Lake stops, during which we were standing less than a foot apart and facing eath other, I was contemplating what the best opening move would be, were I suddenly to attack you. Factors considered included likely efficacy, how normal I could make any necessary preparatory movements, and how easy it would be to follow up in the event of success or failure. Just thought you'd like to know, 'cause the next time we meet there will be a Reckoning. (I'll be all like, ok, so the pizza was 17, and you had the weissbier, so that makes 20, etc.. We will reckon that shit up.)
Comments
on 2005-05-05 8:00:54.0, Joe Drymala commented:
Damn, you so scary.
I have silver sneakers. But they're made of silver.
and, further, on 2005-05-05 8:05:46.0, ben wolfson commented:
That can't be comfortable.
and, further, on 2005-05-05 8:12:19.0, Joe Drymala commented:
I have seriously spent no less than 45 minutes sizing up dudes on the subway who I felt were up in my bizness.
If you knew what I looked like, you'd think that was hysterical.
In the moment, though, I calculate that it's all about knowing the right pressure points.
and, further, on 2005-05-05 8:40:54.0, ben wolfson commented:
I am one scrawny dude, but I bet I could have acquitted myself ok. My plan was to start with this to the nose, angled upwards along the bridge.
and, further, on 2005-05-05 9:19:16.0, Joe Drymala commented:
I've always had more of a fascination with pressure points of the neck.
1. Location: Behind the jaw in the depression under the jaw. Attack: Strike diagonally back to front. Result: A strong blow can cause unconsciousness or dislocate the jaw. Grinding with the thumb or knuckle can cause intense pain.
Location: In depression behind the corner of the jaw. Attack: Poke or press in and upward at a 45 degree angle toward the center of the head. Result: Causes pain. Strong blow may dislocate jaw.
Location: Notch at bottom of jaw. Attack: Hit on line 45 degrees toward the center of the head. Can use knuckle or fingertips to poke and roll inside the bone. Result: Causes intense pain. Heel palm strike at correct angle can knock out attacker. Puts attacker off balance, jars head.
Real ultimate power, baby.
With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to Tiananmen Squay-ahhh...
and, further, on 2005-05-05 15:26:30.0, dave zacuto commented:
I'm glad to see that imagining ways to attack strangers in public places is a normal thing to do
and, further, on 2005-05-05 17:31:11.0, bitchphd commented:
That's interesting, b/c I often spend time thinking of how the fuck to defend myself against strangers in public places. And then I reassure myself that "no one is thinking of attacking you."
So, thanks.
and, further, on 2005-05-06 7:30:57.0, Joe Drymala commented:
You just gots to stay out of people's bizness, bitch.
I really have no earthly idea what I'm talking about.
and, further, on 2005-05-06 0:12:45.0, LizardBreath commented:
Huh. Either this isn't something that breaks down neatly by gender, or everyone else here is crossdressing.
Although actually I contemplate attacking people I work for more than people on the subway. On the subway I'm usually contently crocheting, but long meetings... hostile thoughts emerge.
and, further, on 2005-05-06 0:17:39.0, ben wolfson commented:
Of course you don't have hostile thoughts on the subway. You aren't, it seems, packed in like a sardine.
and, further, on 2005-05-06 21:25:00.0, Adam Kotsko commented:
If he was getting on at Grand, he knew it was only one stop before a third of the people got off at Clark and Lake. If I were him, I would have calculated that the risk of facing your wrath, compared with the inconvenience of waiting 7-15 minutes for the next train, I would have squeezed in. And kicked your scrawny ass.
and, further, on 2005-05-06 21:28:25.0, ben wolfson commented:
I'll get you on Sunday, Kotsko.