As that which now I draw from my pants
[MACBETH, the bi-curious Thane of Cawdor who hasn't had sex in years, pauses outside the door to a gay bar, when suddenly a hilted dildo appears before him]
MacBeth: Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going;
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' the other senses,
Or else worth all the rest; I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of "blood",
Which was not so before.
Comments
on 2005-07-21 14:53:50.0, Jacob Haller commented:
Dildo: Sorry, dude, I think you're thinking of someone else.
[The dildo melts, thaws, and resolves itself into a dew.)
(SFX: Giant disposable napkin.)
and, further, on 2005-07-21 14:58:59.0, ben wolfson commented:
The dildo melts
It was made out of ice? That sounds unpleasant.
and, further, on 2005-07-21 17:05:35.0, dave zacuto commented:
Please make a joke now about the "come, happy dagger" line in Romeo et al.
and, further, on 2005-07-21 17:57:54.0, ben wolfson commented:
It hardly seems necessary, now.
and, further, on 2005-07-22 6:47:38.0, Jacob Haller commented:
Hmm ... Google found me http://www.evesplace.com/sensuous/letters/toohot.html , which states:
"Ice is used to enhance tactile stimulation, confuse or surprise the partner, delay orgasm, as a light form of torture or as a first aid for mild burns."
You learn something new ever day, I guess.